Sometimes i wish i can turn back the time and fix everything that i has done wrong. not because i wanna prove myself right, simply because i dont wanna hurt anyone.
Sometimes i got really confused with myself...what i really want in life?
I bet, there are some people that i have hurt so badly. there are some people who really hate me for some reason. there are some people who i have betrayed. there are some people who i have disappointed.
They all said, we learn from mistakes. this was my mistake. but i swear this isn't what i want to happen.
Truth is... i dont know what i want..i dont know what im looking for...im confused.
Now it's too late to fix everything...it's way too late...i wanna say that i regret what had happen but i dont know...should i? or i should just let go of the past....
there are times...i'll be looking back at the good old time...it was sweet memorable and touching.
is it okay to say... i miss how close we are... i miss us...
there are things that cant simply be change...there are things that too much to be explain...
for now in my life...i accept everything that had happened. for everything happened has its own reason.
people may change, feelings fade, friendship became enemy, lovers became stranger...but the memories will always be there. people may hate me very much and i really dont know how to explain myself but someday i hope they will understand. i may have done the biggest crime and i may be the hardest person to apologies...i like to keep things for myself...i dont mind if the whole world against me...once again, im not trying to prove myself right...im just lost in my own world...im just lost finding myself...
but my biggest regret will be...i dont mean to hurt anyone nor to hate anyone...sorry will not be enough to get rid of this regret. i choose not to fix everything for only one reason...i dont wanna hurt anyone ever again...i dont wanna take the risk of the same thing happening again... i'd rather live with haters than having to make people i care to possibly be hurt again. cus we wouldn't know what will happen again in future...we have no idea to expect for the unexpected.
some people call me devil with angel face. I'd live with that ^___^
cus that "nickname" was given by a companion who know me inside n out.
if that is what they judge me with im fine cus i believe no one is perfect for no one is better than anyone.
this is a very great lesson in my life and i will sure take this forever with me...i will always tell myself to never be this person anymore. no more. the old me is dead and gone ♫ ♫
Trust me, i love you more than i will ever hate you :)
please take care and wish you all the best in life.
