this i promise you

i can't be perfect... i might can't be good enough for you...
i might can't be all that you want me to be...
i can't be the solution of your problems...
i can't be the answer for all your question...
i can't provide you with all what you don't have...
i can't give you all what you wish for...
i can't make all your dreams come true...
no i can't...

but the only thing that i can do the best for you is...
i will never leave.
i can't be good enough for you but i will always be there keep trying to meet your expectation...
i can't be all that you want me to be but i will always give the best of me when i'm with you...
i can't be the solution of your problems but i promise you will never have to solve them alone...
i can't be the answer for all your question but i won't let you search the clue all by yourself...
i can't provide you with all you don't have but you wont be lack a little of my love to you...
i can't give you all what you wish for but i'll put my life on to care for all your need...
i can't make all your dreams come true but my prayer of your success will always be with you each and every move you make...

i can't be the best girlfriend everyone ever wish for. i can't be the perfect girl. i can't be the girl in every man's dream. i can only be me and all that i have for you is true.

no matter how hard the situation can be i will never leave.
even when you tell me to go, i wont go, i will always be there for you.
you will never have to lose me, even when you have nothing more left with you, you'll still have me cause i promise you i will never leave you behind.

if being with you is a war, i'm ready to fight.
if being with you is a mistake, it would be my best mistake ever.
if being with you is pain, i'm tough enough to suffer.
if being with you is patience, i'm strong enough to handle.
if being with you is a risk, i'm ready to take the challenge.
if being with you is a nightmare, i'm ready for the reality.

i just want you to know that you are very important to me. it still a long long way to go between us. but i cherish each and every moment we had. what means more to me is not my smile but yours, your smile make me the happiest girl. i don't regret anything between us. no matter how many fight we are in, at the end of the day i still love you so much and so much more. always remember that i the reason i'm still here is not because of myself but because of you. sometimes your word can be so harsh to me, sometimes you hurt me like no one ever did before, sometimes you disappointed me real bad, but i have no reason why i still wanna be a part of you. all i know is, only with you can i move on. i believe you do love me as much as i do.

i will hold your hand and i wont let them go. no matter how hard our days can be, i promise i still will hold on strong. i believe one day we will make our dreams come true. you and me. i will be there for you just remember that. this i promise you, i will never let you go. and i believe everything will worth the stay.
i hope big wish bigger pray hard and work harder just to make you happy.
you are all the reason i am always here. YOU.

my only one

i'm thankful for everything you've done for me. for every single favor you do for me.
thank you for being there when i need you. thank you for your never ending support.
i will never forget your good deeds to me and i promise i'll make it up to you one day.

i'm sorry sometimes i'm being so selfish. all i think is just about myself.
i put you under my control. i put limit in almost everything.
i can't stand not knowing a little secret of yours. for me, no secrets between us.
i'm sorry i don't give you enough space. i'm sorry i'm all over in a space of yours.

i'm sorry cause i forgot everything you did for me.
i forgot your hard work, your sweat, your effort to make our moment come true.
you work so hard just to make sure every night before i close my eyes to sleep and every morning i open it to see another day, i always got to see you.
i forgot all your sacrifice just to make me happier.

i'm sorry for being selfish. i'm sorry caused i'm insecure.
i just wanna be the only one you hug tight every night.
i just wanna be the only one you got to see every morning before you start your day.
i just wanna be the only loves of your heart. is it even too much to ask?
cause for me, you're always my only one.

insecurity.

I'm just human. a normal one. i'm insecure. i have doubt. i got confused.
a lyric from Adele- Someone like you tells us, "sometimes it last in love, sometimes it hurt instead"
yes, i agreed with that. now i'm in this very stable relationship. i have him and he have me. we have each other. but i sometimes wonder, will it always stay this way? like what Taylor Swift said, "forever and always"
sometimes i look at him and wonder, can i see honesty in his eyes? people said, relationship without trust is like a car without fuel, you can always stay in it but you'll not going anywhere. i don't want a relationship that bring me to no-where. i believe in happy ending, i believe in marriage.
and i believe in faith. i believe He is the one who will decide everything for me. i can just plan and hope but its up to him to make it real. it has been two years dating the same guy, it has been two years of our love story. within this period of time, a lot of thing happen between us. its not always sunny day it sometimes rain with thunder and lighting.
sometimes, i feel very scared. what if i make the wrong choice? what if he is not the one i'm fated to be? what if we have to be apart one day? but i believe somewhere somehow everything happen for reason. some people stay and some people leave and if he meant to be someone who have to leave, it will hard for me but i do believe there are reason for that.

Its her...

Browsing through her pictures...i miss her...looking at her happy smile reminds me of those happy moment i spent with her. Missing those laughter, missing those smile, missing those moment.
Where ever she is now, who ever she is with, i always and always hope the best for her. I'm nice but I'm not an angel, sometimes i say bad things, i cursed, i offended people, i judge, i laugh, i'm a sinner. one thing for sure, i'm not perfect and i can be out of control. however, i always have that one corner in my heart where i treasured all those good thoughts, good memories, good people and i always feel bless because somehow i have people who i love and their presence in my heart actually make me feel that they are actually loving me back.

If i can turn back the time, i'll never wanna hurt her. the moment i lost her, i started to realize that maybe she meant that much to me. where i can't feel her presence anymore make me missing her more and more. i always hope she will forgive me for what i have done to her. but i wonder does that forgiveness worth it for that broken trust and for hurting her. i broke her trust i broke her heart.

My dear baby girl, i'm sorry for everything. people said, when trust is broken sorry mean nothing but still, i really feel sorry. if i can have one wish. i want you back. i miss you....:'(